Getting to Know Your Emotions
Getting to Know Your Emotions
Written by Lindy Burke
We all experience numerous emotions each day but we can’t always pinpoint how or what we are feeling. Some emotions may be fleeting, while others may impact the rest of our day. While we may be able to acknowledge an unpleasant mood or feeling, we oftentimes have trouble identifying the source of this feeling. Fortunately, our thoughts are fueled by emotions, and vice versa. For each thought ask yourself, what is the emotion? When you can practice this, you can connect more deeply with yourself.
Noticing through mindfulness.
To get to know our emotions we first have to notice them. In this fast-paced, modern world we are not often encouraged to slow down, check in with ourselves, or notice how we are feeling. Instead we are encouraged to always “be productive” or “get ahead”. But what if slowing down would allow us to feel more in control of not only ourselves but our lives? I want you to take a moment and try to think about a thought you’ve had in the past couple of minutes. Are you able to identify one? This may sound like an idea, remembering a task, or simply the way we speak to ourselves.
Now take a deep breath. Try to notice what emotion you are feeling right now. This may be one emotion or a couple of emotions. It is possible for more than one emotion to be present at the same time and actually tends to be the case!
Relationships between thoughts and emotions (and actions)!
Now that we have taken a moment to check in with both our thoughts and our emotions, let's explore how they relate to one another. One therapeutic modality that a therapist may use is called Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, or CBT. CBT looks at the relationship between thoughts, emotions and behaviors. It explains how emotions impact thoughts and behaviors, how thoughts impact emotions and behaviors and how behaviors impact thoughts and emotions. This information alone can be a powerful tool to have. It tells us that if we feel stuck in an emotion we may be able to better understand why by examining our thoughts or behaviors. We are also able to better get to know our thoughts and actions, or rather what fuels them. If you are stuck in a behavioral pattern, for example biting your nails, you may find that you bite your nails when experiencing a particular emotion, such as fear. If we notice our emotions before we engage in the action we may feel as though we understand these behaviors better, allowing us to feel more in control of these behaviors.
Shame.
Shame is a tricky, and often unpleasant, emotion to experience. Shame is an emotion that prevents connection, within ourselves and with others. When experiencing shame it is common to not want to reach out to others for connection or further explore the feeling yourself. Although it was evolutionarily necessary at one point, shame can be harmful when perpetuated by negative thoughts. When experiencing shame we often find that there are natural emotions underlying this feeling. For example we may find that underneath this shame is anger and fear, sadness and anger, and so on. When we boil down this shame to the underlying emotions we are able to better understand it and prevent ourselves from being swallowed up by the urge to disconnect.
Why this matters.
Getting to know our emotions can be uncomfortable. Oftentimes it requires us to acknowledge and sit with feelings we may want to ignore but there are many benefits to getting to know these emotions. By noticing our emotions we are able to better understand our needs. We can learn from these emotions what brings us joy and what may not serve us. For example, you may notice your chosen form of self care actually makes you feel anxious rather than re-centered or re-energized. You may better understand how your relationships with others impact you. You may even be motivated to implement boundaries to protect your emotions. Through noticing our emotions we can better take care of ourselves by understanding our needs and leading our most authentic lives.
If you are looking to further explore and understand your emotions and thoughts, therapy is a great place to start! Thrope Therapy offers in-person and virtual sessions. Reach out and schedule your free 15-minute consultation call today. Please email us with any questions or inquiries at hello@thropetherapy.com.
